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The Trump era has surfaced an ensemble cast of bizarre characters: hustling for eyeballs through a killer combination of outrage, bombast and grift. The majority of these are in the Trump corner: think Candace Owens, Laura Loomer and Jacob Wohl. But let’s now turn the spotlight towards the strangest creatures of the anti-Trump brigade. Cockburn is of course talking about the Krassenstein twins.
For the uninitiated, the twins are Brian and Ed Krassenstein, 37-year-old brothers from Fort Myers, Fla. They rose to prominence through a practice Cockburn refers to as ‘wohling’: that’s to say, whenever @realdonaldtrump tweets something, you reply with a bland but extremely partisan statement, in the hope of accruing likes and retweets, and building your personal brand. But where Jacob Wohl (RIP) built his name by treating the Donald to a laudatory rimjob, the Krassensteins are the Twitter limpets of the Hashtag Resistance. Here’s some of their finest work, literally from the last day:
The Judge DID NOT say "There was no collusion with Russia".
Once again, STOP LYING!!
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) March 8, 2019
Thats because this case had nothing to do with Collusion. That doesn't mean that Manafort didn't collude with Russia. There is plenty of evidence that he did.
— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 8, 2019
Constitutional Harassment!
By our president
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) March 5, 2019
Man, you are really panicking today. Is something big about to break?
— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 8, 2019
If you’re baited into following them, you can expect more banal musings such as:
Hillary Clinton loses emails and Republicans chant “Lock her up”.
Donald Trump loses children and Republicans chant “Four More Years”.
If you still don’t think that this is some sort of sick, twisted cult, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your priorities as Americans.
— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 8, 2019
Michael Cohen is suing the Trump Organization for not paying his $1.9M in legal fee.
Call me crazy, but if I had a "fixer" who hid my deepest, darkest secrets and he was likely going to testify against me, I'd make sure Im on good terms with him.
That's how dumb Trump is.
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) March 8, 2019
3 Ways that Trump Presidency Ends:
– He stays in office and if voted out in 2020, at which point he is immediately indicted – 70% chance
– He agrees to resign to avoid prosecution of himself or his children – 20% chance.
– He is impeached, thrown from office, and indicted – 10%— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 8, 2019
Happy International Women's Day to all women today. We were all created equal, and we should all be treated, paid, and respected as so. Any man who looks down to a woman, is not a strong person but rather a coward who himself is projecting his own weakness at the other gender.
— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 8, 2019
Donald Trump literally signed bibles in Alabama today….
This is like if Barack Obama signed Korans as he visited a natural disaster area.
And Yes, I know Obama wasn't a Muslim! That's my point!
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) March 8, 2019
They’ve spun this success into a website, hillreporter.com, which notably debunked Jack Burkman and Wohl’s attempted #MeTooing of Robert Mueller (cannot believe I’m writing this), a YouTube channel, and possibly the most nauseating podcast you’ll ever allow your ears to listen to.
https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/1090347443747676160
Inexplicably, given the substance of their posts, they are followed by members of Congress like Eric Swalwell and Ayanna Pressley, once-respectable commentators like Van Jones and Megyn Kelly, and Democratic candidates for president like Amy Klobuchar and Cory Booker. Surely such influence is just as scary as Trump giving Candace Owens an engagement shout-out during his CPAC speech, or Donald Trump Jr. fielding Laura Loomer’s wide-eyed questions.
But are they truly the match of the worst Trump grifters? Do they have the same portfolio of shady business dealings as the likes of Wohl or the criminal record of Ali Alexander/Akbar? Well, according to the Daily Beast:
‘In late 2016, federal agents showed up at the Fort Myers, Florida, homes of brothers Brian and Edward Krassenstein, seizing computers and financial records, and hauling off “at least 20 to 30 bundles of stuff.”
‘According to the feds, the brothers also, until recently, ran websites that propped up fraudulent online financial scams. Law enforcement officials last year seized nearly half a million dollars from the brothers, money that prosecutors say was derived from wire fraud. The Krassensteins, who have not been charged with any crimes, maintain that they did nothing wrong or illegal.
‘“There is reasonable cause,” the threshold of proof for federal asset forfeiture claims, “to believe that the Krassensteins would have known that these funds were criminally derived,” Adams claimed. “There is also reasonable cause to believe that… Brian and Edward Krassenstein have conspired to commit wire fraud.”’
