Spotify logs losses and cuts jobs after splurging on Meghan

Being friends with Meghan Markle may cost you socially, but now it’s looking like it’ll ruin you financially as well. The streaming service Spotify has logged $230 million in losses, after the CEO has admitted to getting “carried away” with major investments in the past year.

This includes Spotify’s lightbulb moment of throwing $18 million at Meghan and Harry for, checks notes, twelve hours of content, where Duchess Difficult invents more things to complain about. Prince Harry mustered up as much brain power as he could for the podcast, which saw him telling tennis star Serena Williams, “I like what you’ve done with your hair. It’s a great vibe.” Enlightening, Haz.

Spotify CEO Daniel Ek said: “In hindsight, I probably got a little carried away and over-invested relative to the uncertainty we saw shaping up in the market.” An uncertain market meaning that they underestimated just how unlikeable Whinge and Ginge would become.

According to the Daily Mail, Spotify spent an estimated $1 billion building its podcast library, which led to the company laying off some 600 employees this month alone. As they clear out their desks at Spotify HQ and edit their résumés, at least those workers can take comfort in the fact that Meghan empathizes. She knows what it’s like to struggle: remember when she had to live in that ghastly royal cottage? The one with terribly low ceilings?

Spotify isn’t exactly known to be frugal. The company’s biggest expense came in 2020 when they spent an estimated $200 million on US podcast star Joe Rogan for a multi-year deal.

Cockburn wonders if Netflix’s latest struggles might have anything to do with the Sussexes, after the streaming giant also threw $150 million at the couple for them to sit and recycle the same claims that they have done for years, only for Harry to release a bombshell book less than one month later….