Barron Trump for the NBA Draft?

Can Barron Trump dunk? That’s the question posed by one opportunistic sportsbook this week, who started taking bets on which college the former president’s youngest son will play basketball at (their top choices I are the U and St. John’s at +300). The company is also offering odds on whether he’ll be drafted by an NBA team and in which round.

So could he make it? On the one hand, at 6’7”, he’s the same height as NBA All-Star Luka Dončić — and, through his mother, the same nationality. On the other hand, Barron is on the record as preferring soccer. Perhaps we’re likelier to see him turning out for the USMNT at the next World Cup in 2026, which is here in the US…

Glitching Mitch

Mitch McConnell had another one of his scary public freezes Wednesday in the aftermath of his big fall at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel earlier this year. He was cleared by a doctor after the incident, but Republicans are once again chattering about whether it’s time for the Kentucky senator to resign, or at least opt out of running for re-election. Even National Review is endorsing the idea of him stepping aside. 

Why McConnell might not leave just yet? Kentucky is in the middle of a hotly contested gubernatorial race that could determine who gets to select McConnell’s replacement.

In Kentucky, the exiting senator’s party provides a list of three potential replacements to the governor, who selects one. However, Kentucky Dems have signaled that they want current Governor Andy Beshear to challenge the law. This might pressure the GOP into including a more centrist option within their three picks, giving them a less-than-ideal replacement. It might be the safer play to wait and see if Attorney General Daniel Cameron is able to pull off the upset this fall and beat Beshear.

Meanwhile, Democrats believe that Cameron might appoint himself to a vacant Senate seat. Cameron brushed aside that speculation yesterday, saying he wants to serve as governor for a full two terms.

Rudy’s 2020 hangover

A bombshell report from Rolling Stone, Cockburn’s favorite disgraced magazine, suggests that Special Counsel Jack Smith wants to know if Rudy Giuliani can hold his liquor.

According to Asawin Suebsaeng and Adam Rawnsley, “Smith’s team of federal investigators have asked questions about how seemingly intoxicated Giuliani was during the weeks he was giving Trump advice on how to cling to power.” Though, the story continues, America’s Mayor has “repeatedly and vehemently denied allegations that he was drunk when he encouraged Trump… to falsely declare victory on Election Night 2020.”

A spokesperson for Giuliani cocked an eyebrow at Rolling Stone’s anonymous sauces… sorry, that should be “sources”…

A cracking Kazakh cultural enrichment mission

Cockburn has been around politics for some time and is by now fairly immune to government buffoonery. But some things are still able to earn a raised eyebrow from him. The latest tale of tax-dollar shenanigans comes from the State Department and a $42,000 grant to something called the Humpty Dumpty Institute.

In an apparent attempt to, as the grant states, “support the achievement of US foreign policy goals and objectives,” the Humpty Dumpty Institute wanted to send a group called the Well-Strung Quartet to perform in Kazakhstan, thus “expanding and strengthening the relationship” between then US and the rest of the world. The Well-Strung Quartet, Hillary Clinton fans may remember, are responsible for bangers such as “Chelsea’s Mom,” a Fountains of Wayne pastiche about how sexy the 2016 Democratic nominee is.

Cockburn would like to formally apologize to our reader in Kazakhstan and hope the act hasn’t caused irreparable harm to US-Kazakh diplomatic relations and/or his subscription status. He equally hopes that the Humpty Dumpty Institute never endeavors to put the Well-Strung Quartet back together again…

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