Chuck Schumer will rue the day he declared war on Zyn

In the words of Spartan King Leonidas, later adopted by gun enthusiasts and made most famous at the Battle of Gonzalez in the Texas Revolution: come and take it!

New York senator Chuck Schumer gave a press conference earlier this week calling for a federal crackdown on nicotine pouches and their most popular brand Zyn. Schumer managed to conjure up ignorance, immorality and misplaced priorities in calling Zyn “a pouch full of problems” and asking the Federal Trade Commission and Food and Drug Administration to investigate Zyn for “concerns relating to marketing and health effects.”

Zyn is a tobacco-less nicotine pouch made of salt powder that is very popular on college campuses, on X — and honestly with me and all my friends. Zyn and its competitor brands (On, VELO, Rogue) have quadrupled sales over the last few years and by some estimates now sell well over a billion tins. Almost as much fun as popping a nicotine pouch between your lip and gum is debating with your buddies which flavor most represents your personality (peppermint, citrus, wintergreen). But all the fun may stop because of buzzkill Chuck Schumer.

It’s true that nicotine is addictive. But as a drug, many health experts suspect its negative health effects is roughly the same as your daily cup of coffee. About the worst thing said of nicotine is that it can cause high blood pressure. But nicotine can also improve short-term focus, alertness and memory. One thing that nicotine does not do is cause cancer.

Ask your average person on the street about nicotine, and they will undoubtedly tell you about the horrific health consequences of smoking or chewing tobacco. But while nicotine is the addictive agent in cigarettes and dip, it is the nicotine delivery mechanism, tobacco, that causes cancer. As a drug, nicotine is relatively harmless, but that seems to be lost on Chuck Schumer.

It’s impossible to find any moral compass in the prohibition policies of Democrats. This is a party that has embraced the legalization of marijuana while new research emerges suggesting links to psychosis and schizophrenia. This is a party that passes out needles as a solution to drug addiction. And this is a party that opens the floodgates at the southern border, allowing fentanyl to poison Americans. Yet it’s 6mg pouches of peppermint Zyn that are the priority of Chuck Schumer.

I like Zyn. If I’m being honest, I’m addicted to Zyn. I’m not proud of it. I don’t think it’s cool. But among the bad choices I could be making it doesn’t make a top five. And beyond that I’m free to make bad choices. I’m a free man.

So I’ll see you at the wall Chuck Schumer. This is our Alamo. And I won’t be alone. You just created millions of single-issue voters (maybe). Get ready to reap the whirlwind. Get ready for the Zynsurrection.