Union guys want to bring Bud Light back

Is Bud Light alpha again? The roughnecks at the Teamsters Union announced a boycott of Molson Coors this week, in solidarity with striking workers of the Local 997. They issued a flyer urging people to not buy brews such as Coors Light, Miller Light and Yuengling, as well as Topo Chico Hard Seltzer.

In organizing the boycott, the Teamsters point out that “there are alternative beers available from model employers, such as products brewed by Teamsters at Anheuser Busch” and lists them… including the recently troubled Bud Light.

“We respectfully ask that your office does its part and temporarily boycott Molson Coors products until the company comes to a fair collective bargaining agreement with Local 997 members, and instead buy your beer from employers like Anheuser Busch who treat their employees fairly,” James L. Donovan Jr. of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters said in an email.

Who knew Dylan Mulvaney was a union guy…?

Utah’s big erection

Problems are flaring up for a small-town mayor backed by Congressman Matt Gaetz in Utah’s big election this November.

Trent Staggs, the mayor of Riverton, is running for Senate to succeed Republican Mitt Romney, but his time helming a company that hawked suspect health supplements is proving to be a big headache.

In a previous life, Staggs ran Regeneca, which fielded a flurry of complaints about its products, ranging from falsely marketing its “natural” Viagra pill, which ended up “potentially putting users at risk of deadly health complications,” the Daily Mail reported, as well as a weight-loss drug that was “actually just amphetamine.” (If it works, it works!)

Staggs, — who, yes, is Mormon — said that he was brought in after these problems swelled to a bursting point. “All of these issues, which predated my arrival, are exactly why they brought me into the company as interim president,” he said.

That said, two years after he took over the company, it shuttered, following a recall of all of its herbal and dietary products, suggesting it failed to take out its competitors from the market. “When a company continues to defraud and deceive consumers, risking public health, we will take action to protect the American public,” the FDA said at the time.

Gaetz is far from alone in the MAGA movement in backing Staggs, but his endorsement is one of the most notable — especially in light of the bogus boner pills report. Gaetz, according to one of his former colleagues, “bragged about how he would crush ED medicine and chase it with energy drinks so he could go all night. This is obviously before he got married.”

Staggs faces a crowded field including Congressman John Curtis, the son of former senator Orrin Hatch, and the speaker of the state’s House of Representatives, Brad Wilson. None of his opponents seem to have cornered the dodgy male enhancement market in the past, giving him a potential edge with a niche group of voters.

Marcus Garvey ‘descendant’ has been punching New York women

Out with the Tide Pod Challenge and in with PunchTok: the latest trend on TikTok features women in New York City talking about how they’ve been randomly assaulted while walking the streets of the City that Never Sleeps. In recent weeks, videos of disparate women talking about their assaults have racked up tens of millions of views.

“I was literally just walking and a man came up and punched me in the face,” one influencer said, pointing to her swollen head. “It hurts so bad. I can’t even talk.”

Crime in the Big Apple is, of course, nothing new — but the spate of men randomly attacking women has nonetheless attracted the attention of the city council’s Women Caucus, which expressed concern over the “alarming trend in violence against women.” 

Even New York University’s safety department warned about “female-presenting individuals being assaulted in several New York City neighborhoods.” Their attackers were all male-presenting individuals thus far — and one has actually been arrested. 

Skiboky Stora, a perennial candidate and claimed distant relative of the famed Jamaican political activist, Marcus “Black is Beautiful” Garvey, was arrested in relation to an assault on Halley Kate, a TikTok influencer whose post about being punched in the face went viral. 

Stora has run unsuccessfully for governor of New York, mayor of New York City and city council. He is also a rapper who goes by the stage name Designer Attitude. Needless to say, he is a colorful character. In a recent video, he is punching the air while a graphic reading “pow” pops up — probably not a good look given the charges he’s now facing. 

One victim told the Cut that she’s flattered that her attacker seems to have targeted “hot and beautiful women.”

Zach Bryan blows away Capitol One Arena

Cockburn enjoyed an “all-night revival,” and perhaps one too many bourbon-sours, during the regrettably scheduled Monday night DC stop of Zach Bryan’s 2024 Quittin’ Time Tour. Cockburn first became aware of the Japanese-born and Oklahoma-raised country musician when his niece joined the rest of the internet in sharing his mugshot, following his 2023 arrest for obstruction in Vinita, Oklahoma. Now well into the first stretch of his third tour, this was Bryan’s first time at Capitol One Arena — and he was greeted by the largest audience in the venue’s history, which, Cockburn can confirm, was full of members of Congress and their staffers. 

Cockburn wonders if DC is as blue as many claim, considering the Navy veteran’s reception and performance, which saw him flaunting a “RIP Mainstream Media” T-shirt. While Bryan has not yet commented on his seemingly intentional choice of attire (on the day of Ronna McDaniel’s NBC ouster!), Cockburn can sleep peacefully in the knowledge that Bryan was not referring to The Spectator…