Sorry haters, Trump is really good at golf

Hello everyone and welcome back to Culture Shock! We took a couple weeks of off because I went on vacation and then was in Milwaukee covering the Republican National Convention. 

We’re going to kick off this edition by hopefully settling the years-long debate as to whether Donald Trump is as good at golf as he claims. Trump said earlier this year that he won both the Club Championship and the Senior Club Championship at his course in West Palm Beach, and last year said he won the Club Championship at his course in Bedminster by firing off a 67, which is five strokes under par. However, sportswriter Rick Reilly claims Trump routinely cheats at golf, which has given some haters the impression that Trump isn’t actually any good.

The debate was renewed during Trump’s presidential debate against President Joe Biden, during which Trump called out Biden’s supposed six handicap. Biden later rejected a challenge to face Trump on the golf course with a twenty-stroke advantage.  

On Tuesday, though, we got to see Trump’s golf game for ourselves. LIV Golf member of reigning US Open champ Bryson DeChambeau released a YouTube video in which he and Trump attempt to break fifty while playing a scramble from the forward tees. (If you are unfamiliar with golf, this means that they effectively shortened the golf course by teeing off from the tee box closest to the green. They each tee off, pick the best shot, and then play their next balls from that spot.)

Trump has a shortened back swing and rather frenetic putting stroke, which I’ve found is pretty typical for seniors, but there’s no denying he’s got game.

Let’s break down his stats on the round: 

He hit twelve out of fourteen fairways off the tee, giving him an 85 percent driving accuracy. The highest driving accuracy on the PGA Tour this year was 72 percent (Sepp Straka).

On his approach shots, Trump hit five out of seven greens. He also hit the green on all four par-three holes. Needless to say, this is also very good. (All eighteen holes are not accounted for here because DeChambeau was able to reach the green in one shot on some of the par-fours). Two of Trump’s shots on the par-three holes landed closer to the pin than DeChambeau’s shots. Reminder: DeChambeau is currently one of the best professional golfers in the world. 

Trump made multiple long putts during the round. All but two of his missed putts left him within three feet of the cup, which is considered a tap in or “gimme” putt. The make percentage for a putt of ten feet is about 40 percent for the average tour player. The make percentage drops to about 23 percent from fifteen feet and then to 15 percent from twenty feet. This means Trump’s putting during the round was again not far off the average professional golfer.

Perhaps most impressively, Trump was able to score a solo birdie and a solo eagle during the round. This means every single one of his shots on two separate holes were better than DeChambeau’s. His solo birdie occurred on a par three and his solo eagle on a par four, where he drove the ball within four feet of the hole.

“Do you think Biden can do that? We had an argument about golf, can you believe it?” Trump joked after hitting a dart onto the green of a par-three. 

His few misses were fairly minor — no shanks — and on one hole he pulled off a rather wicked flop shot to get a ball out of the rough. 

Trump’s biggest handicap is his distance off the tee; he hits his driver about 225 yards, which is shorter than the average senior PGA Tour member but longer than most senior amateurs. But it is certainly not inconceivable with Trump’s accuracy and consistency that he could regularly win club championships while playing from the senior tees, particularly on one of his home courses that he plays frequently and knows well. 

The Sims gets a bizarre gender update

In other news, the popular EA game The Sims, which allows players to control the lives of virtual characters, recently got another “inclusive” update. Cockburn wrote last year about how the game was adding double mastectomy scars, tucking underwear and chest binders so that players could make their characters — including teens — look transgender. A later update offered more categories for gender beyond just male or female. After selecting a male or female gender for their sim, players are asked to indicate if their character will be able to “get pregnant” or “get others pregnant,” if their character can “produce milk” and if their character “use[s] the toilet while standing.” Presumably you could create all sorts of biologically impossible characters, like a male sim that identifies as female, can breastfeed a child, but still has a penis and can pee standing up and get other people pregnant. Oh my. 

A new update that dropped this week takes things a step further by creating new “romantic boundaries” that allow sims to be polyamorous or aromantic. The following non-gendered changes were made to language regarding romantic relationships between sims:

• ‘Husband / Wife’ → ‘Spouse’
• ‘Fiancé / Fiancée’ → ‘Engaged’
• ‘Boyfriend/Girlfriend’ → “Partner’

Suspension of disbelief is fun up to a point and certainly has its place in video games, but I think it is safe to say The Sims has gone a bridge too far.