Where are all the big names at CPAC?

National Harbor, Maryland

Hello from the press pen at CPAC — the only part of the convention center that’s as full as previous years. There have been ten empty rows in front of Cockburn in the auditorium for most of the conference. President Trump’s address tomorrow lunch time should change that — but which other speakers will? South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, apparently: people filed in to see her when she spoke this afternoon. “Joe Biden and Kamala Harris… they suck,” she said, to applause. The media row outside is half as populated as previous years. The attendees are noticeably older: you’d be hard-pressed to find a college student here (Cockburn’s nieces skipped it). There are fewer stalls in CPAC Central than in previous years —  though it does have John Fredericks’s “MAGA bus tour bus,” which features his name misspelled. The only thing that’s unchanged is the stage: so far this today, Cockburn has taken in panels on child trafficking and guns. Not a great hangover cure.

The Matt Schlapp-era CPAC is meant to be an America First affair — yet the biggest names besides President Trump are all from overseas. Argentinian president Javier Milei speaks after Trump tomorrow afternoon, while El Salvador president Nayib Bukele was the final speaker yesterday. “They say that globalism comes to die at CPAC — I am here to tell you that in El Salvador, it is already dead,” he told a boisterous crowd, which interrupted him with vuvuzelas and chants of “Bu-ke-le!” at numerous points.

Immediately before him, Tulsi Gabbard delivered some very Trump VP-coded remarks about “democracy” being “at stake” due to the efforts to keep Trump off the ballot, critiquing the “Democrat elite, Washington establishment.” “President Trump has endured years of attacks,” said the woman who four years ago ran in the Democratic primary on a universal healthcare, free community college, pro-choice platform. What happened? (The CPAC straw poll this year will ask attendees who they want as vice president on the Republican ticket.)

Earlier that day, Liz Truss, Britain’s shortest reigning prime minister, went down well: “Truss has managed to pick up the vocabulary of the American right,” reported Matt McDonald. “Her remarks were full of buzzwords: ‘woke-onomics,’ ‘DEI, ESG,’ broadsides aimed at the West’s adversaries.” “There’s an awful lot of Brits here,” Truss mentioned to Cockburn when he caught her in the corridor Friday lunchtime.

Cockburn had a drink at every bar in the Gaylord last night, in pursuit of a scoop. He will continue to work doggedly, against the odds, at this sadly depleted affair…

Where are all the big names?

This CPAC is notable for its lack of star power. Besides President Trump, only one governor, Kristi Noem, and two senators, Tommy Tuberville and J.D. Vance, are on the schedule to speak — despite the conference being hosted just outside Washington at the time of the National Governors Association meeting.

Here are some of the figures who are conspicuous by their absence, all of whom have spoken at recent CPACs:

Senators
Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Tom Cotton, Marsha Blackburn, Marco Rubio, Tim Scott, Mike Lee, Josh Hawley, Rick Scott

Representatives
Mike Johnson, Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Dan Crenshaw

Governors
Ron DeSantis, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Jeff Landry, Tate Reeves, Kevin Stitt, Greg Abbott, Bill Lee

Trump administration/GOP
Mike Pompeo, Nikki Haley, Larry Kudlow, Betsy DeVos, Russ, Vought, Chad Wolf,  Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, Kayleigh McEnany, Rick Perry, Jason Miller, Ronna McDaniel, Mike Pence

Influencers/media
Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens, Donald Trump Jr., Raheem Kassam, Benny Johnson, Dinesh D’Souza, James O’Keefe, Scott Presler, Sean Hannity, Jeannine Pirro, Glenn Beck, Dana Loesch, Laura Ingraham, Ben Shapiro, Dennis Prager, Harmeet Dhillon Buck Sexton, Dan Bongino, Sheriff David Clarke Jr., Jesse Kelly, Carpe Donktum

The low turnout follows a similar pattern as last year. The conference is taking place while both the House and Senate are in recess, when many members head back to the areas they represent.

Another possible factor is the lawsuit against ACU chairman Matt Schlapp, which alleges he “pummeled” the crotch of a male Herschel Walker campaign staffer — one wag referred to this incident as “Crotch-gazi.” Schlapp has strenuously denied the allegations.

Meghan McCain snaps Kari Lake’s ‘olive branch’: ‘If you insult me and my family, don’t even ask for my forgiveness’

Kari Lake speaks just before Donald Trump tomorrow. She’s a very dark horse to be his VP pick — her run for Senate in Arizona is… not going well. That’s in part due to her failed efforts to make nice with the family of the late Senator John McCain, who represented the state for three decades.

During her failed run for governor in 2022, Lake told “McCain Republicans” to “get the hell out.” Get out they did: many stayed home, others voted against her. Now Lake is trying to befriend the McCain family.

“I’d love nothing more than to buy you a beer, a coffee or lunch and pick your brain about how we can work together to strengthen our state,” Lake said in a lengthy tweet to Meghan McCain. “NO PEACE, BITCH!” the senator’s daughter replied.

“Say it with me,” tweeted Ryan Fournier, the Students for Trump co-founder and accused woman beater. “Meghan McCain is insane, and a nasty person!

“Megan McCain [sic] said “NO PEACE, BITCH” to @KariLake after she extended an olive branch, tweeted @DC_Draino. “If RINOs showed this type of aggression towards Democrats, America would be saved. But they only hate actual Republicans. Exposing the backstabbers!”

“I can say ‘bitch’ whenever I want,” McCain told Cockburn over the phone this afternoon. “I think it’s hilarious how these guys act like they need their smelling salts and fainting couches. It’s indicative of how little pushback MAGA people get from people like me.”

“Trump and his minions have been attacking my family for a decade — every time they hit, I will hit back just as hard,” she continued.

“You cannot win Arizona without us,” Meghan said of McCain Republicans and Independents, describing them as “politically inconvenient” to the rest of the Republican Party. “Older center-right Republicans are very turned off” by the conduct of Trump and his loyalists. “Trump has a cap because of people like me.”

So how can a Republican win in Arizona? “The three longest serving senators in Arizona were Carl Hayden, Barry Goldwater and my dad,” McCain told Cockburn. “What do they have in common? They are mavericks and independents — there is a blueprint to show you how to win in Arizona and no one is following it. People pay close attention to politics — embrace independents. Be an independent and try not to debase yourself at the feet of Trump — that is apparently quite a big ask for some people.”

“She did not apologize,” McCain said of Lake’s approach. “I think she reached out because she saw bad poll numbers. I mean, when you’re ten points down with the name ID you have…”

It’s fair to say that McCain doesn’t have high hopes for Lake’s campaign. “Arizona is not like a lot of other states… when you get a picture taken of you vacuuming the red carpet for Trump, a lot of people will think, ‘that’s absurd.’” Without welcoming independents and McCain Republicans, you “couldn’t win dog-catcher” in the Grand Canyon State.

“Words and actions have consequences. If you insult me and my family, don’t even ask for my forgiveness — you will not get it. It’s not that hard to not a denigrate dead war hero.”

Perhaps Lake’s advances might have been better received and looked more authentic if they’d come before she announced another run for Arizona office?

No one asked, Joe…

President Biden “infuriates wife Jill by joking that the key to their forty-seven-year marriage is ‘good sex’,” according to a Daily Mail story Cockburn wishes he could un-read.

The piece features snippets about the Bidens’ love life from New York Times reporter Katie Rogers’s forthcoming book American Woman: The Transformation of the Modern First Lady, from Hillary Clinton to Jill Biden.

“The president gives that marital advice to aides ‘much to his wife’s chagrin,’ reports Rogers.”

Cockburn wishes to register his sympathy with those aides — and his jealousy of the president. He hopes he has Biden’s vigor when he’s in his eighties…