The case for cold weather

Pennsylvania experienced a heat wave last week, with temperatures soaring into the mid-80s. It was not to last. This morning it was a balmy 33°F, with that bone-chilling dampness and threat of snow showers that can only mean one thing: spring!

When friends and family who live in warm places send me photos of the beach and brag about taking long walks in the sunshine, I block out their bragging with a defiant flip of my hood and insist that people who live in cold places are tougher. We have more character. True grit. And it turns out that may actually be true. “Cold temperature extends longevity and prevents disease-related protein aggregation,” according to a new peer-reviewed study from Germany’s University of Cologne. Longevity, i.e., surviving, takes a lot of tenacity, especially these days, when beer isn’t even a reliable recourse anymore.

The researchers credit the cold with preventing the accumulation of “harmful and damaging protein deposits” that accelerate such diseases as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Exercising in cold weather is especially beneficial, as you burn more calories through the activation of brown fat, something that sounds gross but that helps us expend more energy and burn more blubber when the temperature dips.

Have you ever wondered why the California coast, with its paradise weather, is constantly coming up with some of the most harebrained political policies in the country? I have a couple theories for this trend, partly based on scientific evidence and partly formed from climate envy.

Minus an engulfing mudslide and raging wildfire now and then, California’s atmosphere is pretty much perfect, making the state’s inhabitants less productive. According to the Medium, “Bad weather actually increases your productivity… [and] research indicates that when the weather is nice, people just can’t focus on their work.” Colder air has also been proven to “boost your brain activity, improve focus, and help you think more clearly. Numerous studies show that our cognitive functions improve in colder weather.”

This research would help explain why the California legislature is always passing laws without pausing to consider their consequences. It’s too nice outside to think for very long about how forcing 100 percent electric vehicles by 2035 would affect American families and the nation’s economy, for instance.

As the weather warms up and summer rears its muggy head, I am clinging desperately to the last of this chilly season, which is not only superior for physical health and mental performance, but for aesthetics as well. Compare the soft pink flush of a cheek blushing from Old Man Winter’s kiss to the shiny ruddiness of a bloated face (cold also reduced inflammation!) assaulted by the sun and heat. Consider also the clothes associated with each time of year. Dressing for winter is inherently much more interesting because there are so many more pieces of apparel required. What bundling up does to the human form is also often a favor to everyone, especially as our obesity rate balloons here in America.

As you cheer increasing temps and are tempted to put your lawn furniture out a little too early, consider the gift that is cold weather. And as you plan your vacation to a hot, sundrenched, tropical island, remember what P.J. O’Rourke, who was only ever wrong about one thing (Hillary Clinton in 2016), opined about summer: “For everyone this side of Nome, summer vacation in the summer is like having a coffee break at 2 a.m.,” and consider heading north.