John Kerry: America’s failfather

Former defense secretary Robert Gates once wrote that President Joe Biden has been ‘wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades’. To which John Kerry might reply, what am I, chopped liver? After all, when it comes to disastrous track records, America’s haughtiest envoy should not be overlooked.

John Forbes Kerry is a case study in failing upwards. It’s rumored that when Joe Biden’s cognitive decline became increasingly apparent in the lead-up to the election, Kerry wondered if he might fail his way into the Oval Office. According to NBC News, Kerry was ‘overheard by an NBC News analyst saying “Maybe I’m fucking deluding myself here” and explaining that to run, he’d have to step down from the board of Bank of America and give up his ability to make paid speeches’.

It makes sense that Kerry would delude himself with the prospect of finally becoming Commander-in-Chief. If his gaffe-filled career has taught us anything, it is that no one thinks more highly of John Kerry than John Kerry.

Unfortunately for him, the rest of the country has never been too enamored with the former Massachusetts senator. He is the last Democratic presidential candidate to date to lose the popular vote. That is an impressive feat considering that even Hillary Clinton, who didn’t exactly charm the masses, managed to cinch the popular vote in 2016. Somehow the embarrassment of his 2004 Presidential loss was not enough to push Kerry permanently out of the public eye.

When President Obama chose Kerry as his Secretary of State in 2013, he gave a powerful position to an ill-equipped and out-of-touch fool. With the aloof and awkward Kerry at the helm, is it any wonder how we ended up with the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action , the ‘Iran Deal’?

The Iran Deal, was supposed to deter Iran from creating nuclear weapons. To achieve this lofty goal, the United States gave Iran $1.8 billion in cash, and lifted sanctions that unfroze an estimated $50 billion of the country’s usable liquid assets. Kerry, an infamous cheapskate, has no problem throwing money at a problem — or an evil regime — as long as the money he’s throwing isn’t his.

The Iran Deal disaster might have been Kerry’s most expensive failure, but it was far from his last. He also played an integral part in the creation of the Paris Climate accord. This agreement punishes America’s energy producers with regulations and restrictions while other countries — China, for instance — are able to do business as usual without repercussions. Kerry was a sorry architect, constructing much of the damaging America Last policy that served as the foundation of Obama’s apology tour.

Despite the fact that Donald Trump won the presidency by running against many of Kerry’s ‘achievements’, the bloviating Yale grad still refused to go away. Since leaving office in 2016, Kerry has met with Iran’s foreign minister Mohammed Javad Zarif several times to discuss how to preserve the Iran nuclear agreement, which the US has pulled out of but Iran, the EU, Russia and China are still sticking to. This unseemly and traitorous behavior should have sparked national outrage or, at the very least, killed Kerry’s zombie-like career. Instead, it has landed him another job.

In November, Joe Biden announced that John Kerry would be serving as his ‘US Climate Envoy’. This smug title is almost as rich as Kerry. The climate activist, like his old boss Obama, cares deeply about global warming. Interestingly enough though, for two guys obsessed with rising sea levels, they certainly love island properties. In 2017 Kerry sold his home on Nantucket and purchased a $11.75 million ocean-front home in Martha’s Vineyard. That is just a 25 minute drive away from Barack’s $15 million manse. How lovely.

There is a term for wealthy, out-of-touch politicians who follow the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ mantra: limousine liberals. That would describe Kerry perfectly, if only limousines were up to his standards. Like his fellow global activists Bill Gates and Leonardo DiCaprio, the Climate Envoy prefers to fly private.

When he traveled to Iceland to receive an environmental award, a reporter asked, ‘You came here with a private jet. Is that an environmental way to travel?’

Kerry’s response was as laughable as the man himself: ‘If you offset your carbon… it’s the only choice for somebody like me who is traveling the world to win this battle.’ In John Kerry’s snobby vernacular, ‘somebody like me’ translates to ‘somebody important like me’.

It should come as no surprise: the man is deluding himself.